Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Number 27 - In Which I Am Sad.

I knew messing about with New MySpace would lead to trouble. Apparently, the mere action of me logging in triggered an email from MySpace to everyone on my "Connections" list. So now Handsome Jeremy has an email from MySpace telling him I'm back online and why not say hi? Hmm.

We didn't leave things well.

I might have intimated that I'd quite like to shag him if ever he was over from California. He said he'd rather just be pals. Thanks god for the Internet - my furious and sickening embarrassment was disguised with a jovial "LOL, I'm like totally kidding!"reply from me. Ho hum.

In other news, I think I'm coming down with a bad dose of The Fucks. Symptoms include:

  • Blatant disregard for arbitrary parking regulations
  • Irritation with idiots
  • Short temper with recalcitrant technology
  • Shouting at contestants on tellybox quiz shows
  • Increased desire for controlled substances such as caffeine, chocolate, cake and crisps
  • Decreased desire for sex
  • Fatigue
  • Argumentativeness
  • A general but all-consuming malaise

Treatment for The Fucks includes:

  • Chocolate
  • Caffeine
  • Cake
  • Crisps
  • Loud Rock Music
  • Long baths
  • Avoiding the public

Alcohol is not recommended, as may improve things in the short term, but can lead to an inadvertent releasing of home truths best kept secret. It may also lead to maudlin crying.

I'm fairly familiar with the condition so I have it in hand. I have a massive bar of Galaxy on my desk, a pot of tea on the go and Metallica coming out of my speakers. I've also just seen the new Thor trailer, and the sight of a topless Chris Hemsworth has made my blood run a bit hotter and faster.

Listening to: Metallica:  "The Black Album"
Reading: Lindsey Kelk - "About A Girl"

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